i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
