the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
