i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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