Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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