Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
