He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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