he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm both gender and math confused
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
