His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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