So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
3pm strippers are depressing
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
