Umm I'm too high to move.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
