she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
they're like a gay fantastic four
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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