i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize