don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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