I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
