can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
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