reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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