Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
