Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
