I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
