The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
