So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize