i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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