I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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