who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize