he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
