I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
