i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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