Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
