You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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