have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
