Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
