ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
