All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Found your dick twin last night
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
