And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
