he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
