I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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