I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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