They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
