He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
