ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
mondays should just be called national damage control day
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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