we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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