do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
