...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
