FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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