wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
