1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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