Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
