SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
