booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
