you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
