Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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