Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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