was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
