what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
