I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
