Well douche your snatch and let's go!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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