Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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