very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
