I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Randomize