haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
