non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize