I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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