They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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