I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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