how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
